Confrontations
by InfinityStar
Summary: Things begin to come to a head and tempers boil over as Eames begins to come to terms with her failing marriage.
1. Better For Maggie

**A/N: With _Soft is the Heart of A Child_ nearly done, I thought I would start this one. This is the last week of Alex's marriage to Ricky (yes, I hear some of you cheering). It takes place a week before the events in _Love That Hurts the Deepest_. If I make any changes to make the stories flow better, I'll let everyone know by the end of this story. **

**Of course the usual disclaimers apply. They belong to Dick Wolf. But Maggie is mine :-)**

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Alex Eames stepped out of the shower and toweled off. It sure was lonely around the house without Maggie there. She hated not having her little girl around. She loved Maggie's energy; it was contagious. It certainly wasn't fair that she had to squeeze her time with her daughter in around Ricky's schedule, but he was so impatient with her. When it was just her and Maggie, or when they were with her dad or Bobby, the little girl was happy and active. But not at home. Over the last six months, Ricky had become even more impatient with Maggie, and now she was quiet and withdrawn around her father. 

Eames had hoped that over time, things would improve within her marriage, but they hadn't. They were getting worse. She was trying hard to honor her commitment and make things work. Marriage took a lot of effort to make it successful, but she didn't remember it being this hard...she was tired. She was beginning to come to terms with the fact that she had made a mistake. She hated to make mistakes, hated as much as her partner did to be wrong. But she _had_ made a mistake, and sticking with it all this time had been wrong, for her and especially for Maggie. There had been good times in the marriage, but the troubled times were far more frequent. Should she give him any more time or was she spinning her wheels, digging herself in deeper? There was one thing that bothered her about leaving, though, one thing that made her stay more than any other: Maggie. If she divorced Ricky, just out of spite he would demand visitation, and she would not be there to protect Maggie against her father.

It bothered her to think she couldn't protect Maggie. What bothered her even more was how her partner would react if any harm, physical or not, came to that little girl. That was something she didn't even want to think about. He really would lose his mind. As it was he lost all perspective of...well, just about everything with the toddler. Her thoughts turned to Goren and Maggie, and she couldn't help smiling. They were quite a pair. Mostly, Maggie stayed with her grandfather, because of their work schedule. Occasionally during the week, when Ricky was working nights, she would stay there with Maggie. But every weekend he was able to, and occasionally during the week because he wanted to, her partner claimed the little girl. She joined them when she could, but she never told him he couldn't see her. That would have been cruel to both of them. He loved taking her to the park, the Museum of Natural History and the Bronx Zoo, and Maggie loved going. She adored him and was happy to go anywhere with him. He managed to get tickets to Opening Day at Yankee Stadium just recently. He'd asked her to go with them, but she couldn't because Ricky had surprised her with tickets to _Don't Go There_, one of the biggest hits on Broadway. When Ricky was being sweet, she took full advantage of it, and he hadn't brought up her partner once that night. It was one of the best nights they'd had since they'd gotten married. So Bobby had taken Mike with him and Maggie to the ballgame, and Maggie'd had the time of her life. For a week she had run around the house singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and yelling "Charge!" Then she spent the weekend with him again and came home singing in German. He still wouldn't translate the song for her; she'd have to work on him some more. The best times of Maggie's little life were the times she spent with Bobby and Mike. Recently the best times of her own life were those same times. She sighed as she brushed her hair. "Alex?"

"It's open."

Ricky opened the bathroom door and came in. "What are you doing today?"

"We have a softball game against Manhattan Homicide. You should come to watch if you can."

"Maybe I will." He slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. "Where's the kid?"

"She has a name, Ricky. Can't you remember it?"

He sighed. "Fine. Where's Maggie?"

"At Dad's," she lied. She never told him when Maggie was with Bobby. "Where did you expect her to be?"

"I thought maybe Reggie had her. She seems to have fun over there."

"Reggie and Aaron took Jake to visit Aaron's folks."

"Oh. Is your dad bringing her to the game?"

"Yes. And then he's going to keep her tonight so she won't bother you."

He sensed her irritation, but he just had no patience for having that kid around. He resented her for the part of Alex she took from him in much the way he resented Goren for the same reason. "I appreciate all the time your dad spends with her."

"He's the only father figure she has." Another lie. Her father was Maggie's grandpa and there was no mistaking that. Maggie did have a father figure in her life, a man who was just like a father to her in every way except biology, and that was Goren. She wasn't sure Bobby even realized that, but it was true. And it was something she would never tell Ricky.

He decided to steer the subject away from their daughter before they ended up in another argument. "Why are you up so early?"

"I want to go over to dad's and have breakfast with my daughter. I'm looking forward to spending the day with her."

Okay, so she wouldn't give up the topic... "Uh, does your partner ever spend time with her?"

"Does it matter?"

"Well, she is my kid. I have a right to know who she spends time with."

There was no way she was going to tell him that Goren often spent more time with Maggie than she did. The thought of it brought her a lot of pain and guilt, not because of the time Bobby spent with her, but because of the time she couldn't spend with her. Actually, seeing him with her little girl only served to increase her respect and her love for her gentle partner. She found herself feeling the happiest when she was with Bobby and Maggie, and that was something she spent a lot of time thinking about lately.

"Do you even care, Ricky?"

"I care that she spends time with Goren."

She swallowed another wave of anger. "Why? You never give a damn about her any other time."

"I just don't trust him."

"You don't know him."

"Let's keep it that way. Now answer me: does he?"

"Sometimes he does."

"We'll talk about it later; I gotta get going. I'll try to stop by and watch some of the game. When does it start?"

"At 1, if everyone stays on schedule."

"Nate and I are on a weird schedule all week. I get off at 4:45, so I should be home by 6. Can we have dinner?"

_Keep the peace,_ she thought to herself. "Fine, Ricky."

"Did you have other plans?"

"No, but I like seeing my daughter."

"I'd rather you leave her at your dad's."

"Yes, I know. Go to work."

He thought about apologizing, but then realized he had nothing to apologize for. He never wanted the kid. She'd gone off and gotten pregnant without his approval, so she could deal with the fallout from it. He kissed her cheek. "Have a good day. Tell your dad hi for me, and the kid, too."

An afterthought. That's all Maggie was to him. The baby deserved so much better...and for that matter, so did she. Inevitably, that train of thought brought her to Goren. Was he the better they deserved? Her heart kept telling her yes. Maggie was already two and Ricky had never come around, like she had hoped. She was kidding herself if she thought he ever would. All he had to do was give Maggie a chance; however, that was something he was unwilling to do. But Bobby...every time she needed him, he was there. He had sat with her through her labor and delivery and never once complained about being there. He had loved Maggie from the moment that nurse had laid her in his arms the night she was born. His love for them both was unconditional, undemanding...the way a father's love should be...and a husband's...again, she pushed the thought away. After all she had done to him over the last few years, all the pain she had caused him, there was no reason to think he would ever consider marrying her, and she wouldn't blame him one bit. They were best friends and she was afraid that was all they would ever be.

She had some long, hard thinking to do, but she also had to think about what was best for Maggie. As time went on and Ricky didn't change, she was coming to realize that more than anyone else, it was Bobby who was best for Maggie. All that remained was for her to figure out what to do and how to keep her little girl safe from a vindictive father. As long as she remained married to Ricky, Maggie was safe. But at what cost? Was it a price she was willing to continue paying? She sighed deeply. If it kept Maggie safe, yes...and she knew Bobby would agree with her.


	2. Intolerable Circumstances

The patrol car pulled into the half-filled lot and parked. He had no trouble spotting Alex's car. Nate Bedford scanned the lot. "What are we doing here?"

"Alex is playing ball so we're taking a break to watch."

Bedford frowned. "Watching or checking up on her?"

"Does it matter?"

"For chrissake, Rick, he's not gonna do something in the middle of a damn crowd. Especially not a crowd of cops."

"Not that anyone will notice, no. You coming or not?"

Bedford sighed as Waters got out of the car. He slid out of the passenger seat and looked over the top of the car at his partner. "What did Hammond tell you?"

"Screw Hammond. She's my wife."

Shaking his head, Bedford followed him toward the field. They had no trouble finding Alex's team, even at this distance. They were the ones who had a little girl running around the bench. Each time she would trip, she would get back on her feet, usually helped by at least one set of hands belonging to a smiling adult, and she was off again.

She was a cute kid, but he found himself annoyed by the reminder that he never wanted kids to begin with. That kid made his real job so much more complicated. Alex _should_ have cleared it with him before she got pregnant, and that was one thing he wasn't able to forgive her for, even though the kid was already two. When he had to walk away, he was going to leave her with that responsibility, and he refused to feel guilty about it. Kids had never been part of the plan, not for him. He was glad that John kept her most of the time. He'd gotten really damn tired of being woken in the middle of the night, especially when he had to be at work at seven the next morning. Alex, after all, had asked for this, not him. But John sure did love her. That was something he just could not bring himself to do.

He watched the interactions of the players on the bench with his little daughter. There was that ass Logan, lifting her up and tickling her. Then Logan laughed when she tried to tickle him back. She scurried away from him over to Alex, climbing up onto her lap and taking the water bottle she gave her. She took a drink and handed it back, hugging Alex's neck and giving her a kiss before she climbed down. Racing around the bench several times, tapping each person she passed on the knee, she stopped before a couple of people to say something. Logan was one of them, and Alex's captain was another. Continuing on, she tripped and fell at least twice on each pass, once again lifted to her feet by helping hands. She smiled broadly at their laughter. Those people genuinely seemed to like the little girl.

Bedford elbowed him. "How old is she?"

"Who?"

"Maggie, you moron."

"Oh, uh, she turned two sometime in May, I think."

"Don't even know your kid's birthday?"

"Shut up, Nate. I shouldn't even _have _a damn kid."

"I don't know why you have to be such a prick about it. It's a done deal. She's really cute."

"You want a fat lip?"

Bedford raised his hands in surrender. "I'll wait for you in the car, asshole."

Waters turned his eyes back to the bench, searching for the one person he did not see. He refused to believe Alex was doing something, on duty or off duty, without that partner of hers, particularly with Logan there. From what he could tell, Logan and Goren were tight. He broadened his search...oh, there he was, off by the fence watching the game. He would have expected him to be over by Alex...his gut tightened and he swallowed a wave of jealous anger. He watched Goren turn, as if someone had called his name. Though their voices didn't carry over the din of the game, he realized who must have called him when he saw the big guy drop to one knee. The little girl ran into his arms. He perched her on his leg and talked to her as though she were able to carry on a real conversation about something important. He found himself incapable of even pretending that what the child had to say mattered to him, not that he could understand the babble he'd heard her use lately anyway. Yet there was Goren, seeming to hang on her every word, as if he really did understand her babytalk.

When the team took the field, the kid ran to the bleachers where John was sitting. She perched herself on his leg and watched the game until the teams switched again and her mother came back in from the field. He expected the kid to run to Alex, but she didn't. He was surprised that it was Goren she chose to run to. He was even more surprised when his wife's partner scooped her up and gave her his undivided attention. And then...a hot ball of fury settled in his gut when Alex stepped up to his side, rested her hand at the small of his back and said something to her daughter. While the kid had her mother's attention, he noticed that Goren was watching Alex, certain her attention was not on him. With a soft, muttered curse, he headed back toward the patrol car. If he went down to the field now, there was going to be a fight. He was even more convinced now that Goren was in love with his wife...and it appeared to him that he was trying to use that damn kid to get to her. As if the son of a bitch needed any props to get Alex's attention. Yet another reason to resent the child he never wanted in the first place. This was becoming intolerable. He would have to do something about it.

Getting into the partol car, he slammed the door. "You busy next weekend, Nate?"

"Why?"

"Because if Alex goes out, I want to know where she goes. If Goren has anything to do with her, it's time for us to teach him a lesson."

"Us? Since when did I join in on your vendetta against Goren?"

"Since I told you it was time. We got sent on this job together, you back me up."

"I don't want to hurt the guy, Rick. He hasn't done anything wrong."

"Not yet, he hasn't, but wait. He will. That's why I want to know where Alex goes."

"Spying on your wife...she's gonna be all kinds of pissed when she finds out."

"She just can't find out, then."

"You do anything to her partner and she's liable to notice, you idiot."

"Just let me handle it. All you gotta do is what I tell you."

He started the engine and gunned it. Bedford shook his head. This was getting out of hand now, and he didn't like it one bit. But his orders were to follow Waters' lead, no matter what. He wondered if this was what Hammond had in mind. With a silent sigh, he mused that Ricky was his best friend, and he would follow him to hell and back. Now he wondered if there was any _back_ from the hell he was leading them into.


	3. The Wishing Star

**A/N: _The Wishing Star_ is not a real book. That one is in my head. I checked.**

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"Okay, mouse...ready?"

She held tightly to Logan's glove with both hands. Logan was helping her to keep it up off the ground. She giggled. "'kay, Unca Bobby."

He gently lobbed the ball toward her. Logan helped her move the glove toward the ball and she scrambled along with it, giggling harder. The ball hit the glove, then rolled out onto the ground. Logan laughed and tightened his arms around her. Behind Goren, Eames laughed. She loved to watch Maggie play with these two guys. She was just a little girl, but these two big, tough cops were putty in her hands. She rested a hand on Goren's shoulder and leaned over to say, "You guys are so good with her."

He replied quietly, "It's not hard to be good to Maggie."

Before she could answer, Deakins called out from the bench, "Eames, you're up next."

As she stepped away and crossed behind Goren, her fingers inadvertently brushed across the back of his neck. He closed his eyes briefly, and then watched her walk to the row of bats, choose one and step into the on-deck circle to practice swinging. The softball hit him in the middle of his chest and he looked at Logan and Maggie. The little girl giggled again. He dropped his glove and got to his feet. With a squeal of delight, she dropped Logan's glove and ran. He caught her quickly, tossing her up into the air. As she came down, he caught her in his arms and pulled her into a warm hug. Laughing, she threw her arms around him and hugged him with all her might. He closed his eyes again.

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Eames watched her teammates pack up after the game. She really wanted to go with them to Delaney's. Bobby and Mike were a lot of fun after the games, and Bobby would be in a really good mood after spending all afternoon with Maggie. Her little daughter had a real knack for making him happy and that was the one thing she loved most about their relationship. Bobby and Maggie made each other happy.

Since the game had started late, it was already after five and that left her with no time to hang out before going home. If she didn't go home, Ricky would blow a gasket, and she was tired of fighting. _Keep the peace,_ she reminded herself. Bobby would be disappointed, but he would understand. He always did. And just by being with her, he would assuage Maggie's disappointment. She approached the bench where he sat with Mike, talking to Maggie. Resting her hand on his back, she leaned over his shoulder. "I have to get going."

He looked at her and she saw the disappointment she had anticipated in his eyes. "Are you sure?"

"Unfortunately."

"Um, do you mind if we take Maggie with us to Delaney's for dinner? If your dad wants to come along, I'd like that. If not, I can drop her off at his place afterwards or just take her home with me."

"That's fine. Just don't get drunk around her, okay?"

He looked hurt. "Give me some credit, Eames. I never have."

She kissed his cheek and whispered, "As her mother, it's my obligation to be certain. Believe me, Bobby, I trust you with her more than anyone else in the world. Kiss her good night for me, okay?"

He nodded and she bent around him to kiss Maggie. "I'll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. Be a good girl for Uncle Bobby."

"I be good, Mommy," she promised.

She squeezed Goren's shoulder and headed toward the parking lot. Goren got up off the bench, lifting Maggie into his arms as he stood. "Let's go see if Grandpa wants to go with us."

"'kay, Unca Bobby."

She hugged his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. John came toward them and gently poked his little granddaughter, making her giggle. Goren said, "We're going to Delaney's for something to eat. Alex said it was all right for Maggie to come along."

Logan added, "Maggie keeps us bigger kids out of trouble."

With a smile, Goren said, "Why don't you join us?"

John laughed. "That sounds like a plan." He leaned forward and kissed Maggie's cheek. "Let's go feed Miss Maggie, boys."

They headed for the parking lot.

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Maggie climbed up into her grandfather's lap . She had begged Goren to come with her to Grandpa's after dinner, and he never had the heart to tell her no. John assured him he was welcome. He didn't let her beg for long before he consented, and she was happy. Grandpa and Uncle Bobby were a lot more fun than her father was. She thought Ricky was always grumpy and she really didn't like him much. He never played with her or read to her. He barely even talked to her, which was okay because when he did it was just to tell her what to do. _Finish your dinner. Sit down and be quiet. Go to bed._ Whenever she went home with her mother and he was there, she stayed close to Eames and wished she was somewhere else. Mostly, she wished she was with Goren. If given a chance to stay somewhere else, which was most of the time, she would always choose to go with him if that was one of her choices. A lot of the time, Eames would go with her, even for just a little while, and she liked it best when her mother was with them, no matter where they were. Along with Eames, Goren was her favorite person. He was fun and she always knew that he loved her. And when Eames had to go home without her, she always felt better about it when she got to stay with him. Once she realized it made her mother sad, she stopped begging her to stay with them and just accepted the fact that she had to go. Goren made that easier for her.

Right now he was taking a shower so Maggie snuggled with John in the living room to wait. "Do you want a story before Uncle Bobby puts you to bed, honey?"

"Unca Bobby reada Maggie!"

John laughed. He got such delight from this little girl. "I'm sure he will. Why don't I read you a story now and then Uncle Bobby can read to you after he tucks you in."

The best of both worlds... "'kay, Gampa!"

She jumped down and toddled over to her bookcase, returning with the book she most loved for Grandpa to read to her. It was called _The Wishing Star_ and he had given it to her for her last birthday. Settling into his lap, she listened to the story of a little skunk called Melvin who wished he wasn't a skunk. He wanted to be a rabbit like his friend Timmy, because he was fast. So every night after the sun set, Melvin would find his special wishing star, and he would wish that he wasn't a skunk...until the day an angry bear happened upon the group of friends. With a ferocious growl, he ran at them. In a panic, Timmy got his leg caught in a tree root and he couldn't run away. Everyone else scattered, leaving the terrified rabbit to face his fate with the bear alone. Everyone, except for Melvin. Melvin stood his ground and defended his friend. After that, Melvin was happy to be a skunk and he thanked his wishing star for showing him what a good thing it was to be himself.

John closed the book and Maggie looked up at him. "I hava wishy star, too, Gampa."

"You do?"

She nodded. "Ev'ey night I talka it an' I wish. I even wish inna daytime."

"But the stars aren't out in the daytime, honey."

"I know. I look at my star inside--" She tapped her head. "--and I talka it."

"That's very smart, Maggie."

"Know what I wish, Gampa?"

"You aren't supposed to tell."

"You telled me about the wishy star. I wanna tell you."

He smiled. "Okay, Maggie. What do you wish for?"

"Ev'ey night I tell my wishy star I want Unca Bobby for my daddy."

"Oh, honey," he sighed softly, pulling her closer into a hug and kissing her head. That was something he had always wanted for her, from the very first moment he had seen his daughter's partner with the newborn baby girl. Behind them, standing in the hallway where it came out by the kitchen and opened into the spacious living room, leaning his shoulder against the wall, Goren had heard what she said. It saddened him deeply that she didn't have the kind of father she deserved. It was just one more thing about Eames' marriage that troubled him. But this was one thing he could do something about. He couldn't do anything for Eames, but for Maggie...he was determined to be everything to her that Ricky wasn't, even if he wasn't her father. She deserved at least that much, and Eames seemed willing to let him do it. Pushing off the wall, he strolled into the room. "Hey, mouse...got one of those hugs for me?"

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After reading another story to Maggie and tucking her in, Goren went out into the living room to join John. The older man smiled. "Is Maggie sleeping?"

"Yes."

"I've said it before, Bobby, and I'll say it again. You have a way with that child."

Goren shrugged. "I love her, that's all."

"What about her mother?"

He didn't miss the tension that suddenly claimed the younger man's body. Goren looked away, refusing to meet John's eyes. "I-I can't do anything for her. You know that. She's the only one who can help her situation, if she chooses to, which she obviously doesn't."

"And if she did?"

Silence. Then, quietly, "What do you want me to say, John?"

"Tell me what's in your heart, son."

He thought carefully about how to respond before he said, "Maggie is in my heart. Right now, there's only room for her."

"And Alex?"

He studied his hands. He really didn't want to be having this conversation. "I, um, I had better be going, John. It's getting late."

"Why are you avoiding this, Bobby?"

"Because it hurts," he said softly. John knew he loved Eames. He wasn't sure what the older man was looking for. "I-I do love her, but I can't help her. We'e been through this before. There's not a damn thing I can do. An-and that kills me."

"So you give that love to the baby?"

He frowned. "What? No...not at all. Maggie has always had her own place in my heart, totally independent of her mother. Alex has nothing to do with how I feel about Maggie. Nothing at all."

That was exactly the answer John expected from him. "What would you do if Alex were available?"

Goren closed his eyes. _What wouldn't I do?_ He sighed, uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going. "Why are you doing this to me, John? She's not available. And speculating just..." He trailed off. _It opens raw wounds, is what it does,_ he thought. _But John can't know that. He wouldn't be pushing this if he did. He thinks he's helping...and I can't fault him for that._ "I will love her until the day I die, but I can't let myself pine for her or that day will come a lot sooner than I'm ready for it to. As long as she remains married to Ricky, there's nothing I can do for her. But Maggie...Maggie needs me."

John smiled kindly. "Son, that baby will always need you."

"I will always be there for her." He smiled. "She's my girl."

"Yes, she is. More than anyone else's." He leaned forward. "Stay the night, Bobby. There's no sense in you driving all the way back to Manhattan if you don't have to. Maggie will be happy to find you here in the morning."

He couldn't argue with that, and he was happy to take any opportunity to bring a smile to her face. He hesitated, but finally gave in. Ultimately, he found himself unable to pass up an opportunity to spend time with her. He didn't spend enough time with her as it was, in his book. "Ok, John. It will make her happy."

"Go ahead and sleep in the bedroom by her. Alex won't be here tonight and I know she won't mind you sleeping in her bed. Be comfortable for a change."

_Sleeping in her bed_...the words hit him like a lightning bolt, but he fought down his reaction. Damn his body, anyway. _In her bed_...

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When he was ready to turn in, John stopped beside the couch where Goren was reading. He laid his hand on a broad shoulder. "Never doubt that my daughter needs you, son. I understand how you feel, believe me, I do. But please, promise me you won't turn your back on her."

Goren looked up into earnest blue eyes. "Never. I--I couldn't turn my back on her. She...she drives me nuts, John. I wish I could do something for her, but I can't. If she needs me, though, I will always be there for her, and she knows it. The ball's in her court now, and it has been for the last few years. When she returns it, I'll be ready...if she ever does."

"Suppose she falters?"

"I'll catch her, if I can. I...won't let her fall. But there's only so much I can do."

John sighed, knowing he was right. He squeezed his shoulder, but said no more about it. "Good night, Bobby."

"Good night, sir."

Forty minutes later, Goren got up and went to the bedroom Alex shared with Maggie. He stopped beside Maggie's bed, leaned down and softly kissed her cheek. "I love you, mouse," he whispered.

He pulled off his shirt and kicked off his sneakers, but left his sweatpants on. When he slid into the bed, he was taken aback by the scent that enveloped him--_her_ _scent_--and it hit him hard, as olfactory stimuli often did. It washed over him and overwhelmed him. Closing his eyes, he took in a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself. Slowly, he drifted off to sleep, where he entered a world that Ricky Waters had no place in, and Maggie was never sad.


	4. A Shove in the Other Direction

She remained mostly silent through dinner, and that unsettled Ricky. He was deeply conflicted. He knew that, in the end, he was going to leave her. But he was going to have a hell of a time letting her go. In the meantime, this was supposed to be a damn marriage...and yet, he couldn't keep out the third parties. First Goren, then the kid. Now both of them together. Why couldn't he just have his damn wife to himself? Was that too much to ask?

After dinner, he lit a fire in the fireplace and hoped he could loosen her up. He didn't like her being uptight. He wasn't really even sure exactly why she was uptight to start with. Pulling a bottle of wine from the refrigerator, he opened it and poured a glass for both of them. They sat on the floor near the fireplace, each lost in their own thoughts for a long time. Finally, he tried to make simple conversation.

"Um, how'd your game go?"

"It was fine. We won by a run in the last inning."

"Who scored the winning hit?"

"Mike did."

"Logan? Hnuh. Imagine that."

"What's wrong with Logan? Don't tell me you have a problem with him, too?"

"Not as far as you're concerned. I just think he's an asshole."

He was so unsettled about her behavior, he didn't notice she never finished her first glass of wine. When the bottle was gone, he went to the liquor cabinet and pulled out a bottle of gin and a bottle of seltzer. As he poured himself another drink, she said, "Your problem with Mike is the same as your problem with Bobby. You don't know him. The way I see it, they aren't the problem. You are."

"My problem with Goren is that I don't like another guy chasing after my wife."

"He has _never _chased after me. That's one thing you don't understand about him. He's my closest friend and that's all he will allow himself to be. That's all he _can _be as long as I'm married. He has this strict sense of right and wrong that he doesn't often step away from. Conditions have to be pretty drastic for him to compromise his values."

"And you're not drastic enough?"

"I have never pushed him."

"Are you telling me you have never slept with him?"

"Hasn't he told you the same thing? It really bothers me that you don't trust me, Ricky."

"He fucking loves you, Alex."

"But he has never done anything about it. He will not chase after me because he knows he can't have me. He is the one who has to deal with that."

"His problem, huh? And you don't care about that?"

"I never said that. I care very much about how he feels. I just can't do anything about it, and neither can he."

"So what's the deal with the kid?"

She was confused. "What deal?"

"I stopped by the softball field today and I watched him interact with her."

"And? What's wrong with the way he interacts with her?"

"He's using that little brat to get to you, Alex. Can't you see that?"

She tried really hard not to explode. Nothing could be further from the truth. Bobby's love for Maggie had nothing to do with her, but if she tried to make that clear, Ricky's hatred for her partner would interfere with that and she was not going to have that. There was no way she would allow him to ever come between Maggie and Bobby. Struggling to keep her anger under control, she said tightly, "Everybody doesn't think like you do, Ricky. Logan is just as good with Maggie. And so is Deakins. Are they after me, too?"

"Maybe they are," he shouted angrily.

"So the whole world is after me just because I'm your wife? You are out of your mind, Ricky. You think too damn much of yourself, and of me, for that matter."

She got up and left the room. He stumbled to his feet to follow her. She heard him come up behind her and, in a voice she learned from Goren that meant serious business, she growled, "Touch me and you'll be needing an ambulance, asshole."

"Where are you going?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'll go find Bobby. You, however, can go to hell."

She left the house, slamming the door hard enough to crack the glass of the window that was set in it.

She fought to stop trembling the entire way to her father's house. She wished she understood how Ricky's mind worked. How could he even think that Goren was using Maggie to get to her! It was one thing to be jealous of her close friendship with Bobby, but to accuse him of being anything but genuine with Maggie...that was nothing short of ridiculous. She understood the jealousy. There had been rumors flying around the department for as long as they had been partners that the only reason she stayed with him was because they were sleeping together, but that was simply not true. She stayed because she loved being his partner; she enjoyed being his friend.

Over the years, though, something had changed. Once she got used to him, she found that she did love being his partner. And she was comfortable with that, settled in the feelings of deep friendship that evolved from it. She came to love him, a satisfying feeling that let her enjoy being friends with him. He amused her, reassured her, made her feel like his equal on many levels. And he protected her, as much as she would let him. It took time for her to realize that no matter how tough she was, she was still not a large person. His size and strength could be intimidating, and she learned to appreciate that and use it to their advantage. And she came to rely on him to always...just _be _there. He never let her down.

For a long time she knew they both lived in denial. They were partners who valued their partnership beyond words. They had become a team that simply did not function well apart. Their close friendship enhanced their strong partnership. When that friendship had advanced into something more, she couldn't say. She wasn't sure that even he knew just when his feelings of friendship had deepened into more. As for her own feelings...God help her, she _was _in love with him. She couldn't say when it had happened, but it had. And she knew exactly when she came to realize it...his birthday...nearly three years ago...the only time she had ever slept with him. _That _was when she knew that she was in love with him. The memory _still _caused her body to react, yearning for more. She had begun to think about leaving Ricky back then, to be with Bobby, because, well, it just seemed...right...to be with Bobby. Then she found out she was pregnant. That had ended those plans and set her on the course this nightmare was taking. She couldn't help loving him, and she wasn't afraid to let him know that she did, but she couldn't let him know she was in love with him. That would be even more painful for him than his own emotions were. It was painful enough for her...nearly physically painful. And she had no idea what to do about it. How could she leave Ricky and still protect Maggie? That was her biggest dilemma.

She turned onto her father's street and was surprised to see Bobby's car in the driveway. She pulled in beside it and got out of the car. She couldn't imagine Maggie giving her father a hard time, however, she _could _see her begging Goren to stay, and he would, because she asked him to. He never could say no to her. She let herself in to the house, which was dark. At 1:30 in the morning, that was no surprise. What did surprise her, though, was not seeing the familiar form of her partner sleeping on her father's couch. Odd. Maybe Maggie was awake and he was getting her back to sleep, although usually he just let her climb up on top of his chest to go back to sleep. That was a familiar, heart-warming sight. Perhaps he was the one who couldn't sleep. That was the more likely scenario.

She quietly headed for her room. In the darkness, she leaned down to kiss Maggie, then she walked over to the bed, stopping when she realized that was where he was. Sleeping in her bed...Of course, she was supposed to be home with Ricky tonight. There was no way he could have predicted she would come here. If he'd thought for a moment she might show up, he would have stayed on the couch. She wondered if he had sought simply to be near Maggie. It wouldn't have surprised her. Reaching out, she gently fingered the hair that curled at his forehead. It crossed her mind that she should go out onto the couch, unless she wanted to wake him and chase him out there. But she didn't have the heart for that, and she wanted to be near Maggie..._and him_, her inner voice added.

Quietly changing into her favorite flannel sleep pants and sleeveless cotton tank top, she let her mind toy with the idea of sleeping in the bed with him. It was perfectly innocent. She wasn't going to have sex with him; he wouldn't allow it, anyway...especially not with Maggie in the room. Her tired mind touched upon how he might react when he woke up in the morning, how she would have to explain herself. But she really was exhausted, and after fighting with Ricky, well...screw him! It no longer mattered to her what he thought. Whether she remained faithful or not, he was always going to accuse her of cheating. It had happened only once, when they both were drunk, though that was no excuse. Bobby had never mentioned it, and she could only imagine the guilt his conscience laid on him for that one. But just sleeping, with him right there...that was a reassuring thought. And right now, she felt the need to be near someone who really did love her, not someone who sought only to possess her, like a piece of furniture.

Making up her mind, she slipped into the bed beside him. He stirred, but he didn't waken, for which she was grateful. It was nice to see him sleeping so well, with no nightmares taunting his rest. She wondered how much that had to do with the fact that Maggie was nearby. She slid a little closer, stopping just shy of making contact with him. She was afraid she'd wake him if she got any closer.

Without waking, he turned onto his side, sensing someone else in the bed beside him. In his sleep, he slid his arm over her and pulled her against him. Only in sleep was he able to hold her in his arms, snuggling his body against hers, without the inhibitions of conscious guilt to torment him. Of course, had he known that she was the woman in his arms, he would have bolted from the bed, horrified at himself for putting her in that position, even though he had nothing to do with it. He rarely chose to blame her for anything. A lifetime of accepting blame and bearing guilt made that easy for him.

It took no effort at all for her to relax in his arms and soon she slept.


	5. Flashflood of Fury

The slamming of a car door pulled him from his dreams, and he jerked awake, senses suddenly alert. Disoriented, it took a moment for him to remember where he was, and a few more moments for him to realize he wasn't alone in the bed. As his mind cleared of sleep, he became aware of exactly who was sleeping beside him, her body curled comfortably with his..._Oh, God...when?...how?..._ He was used to waking with a woman in his bed, just not _this_ woman, the woman he most wanted to share his bed with...the one woman he _couldn't_ share his bed with...

He knew he had gone to sleep alone. She'd been at her house, not here, or he would have slept on the couch. Waking with her beside him in the bed...he groaned deeply, struggling with himself as he longed to touch her, to lean over and kiss her, to waken her with a soft caress...what the _hell _was he thinking, he chastised himself. How could she do this to him? This was so damn unfair...

The doorbell brought him from his thoughts, and he was grateful for it. Then he looked at the time. Who could be ringing the bell at three in the morning? If Alex was here..._oh, no_...he lightly slid from the bed, pulled on his shirt and sneakers, and left the room.

John was crossing the living room toward the door. Goren noticed the couch had been made to look as though it had been slept on. John was a helluva smart man. Taking his cue from the older man's actions, he moved over to the couch and sat down. John heard him moving and glanced over his shoulder, nodding at him with a brief smile. Then he opened the front door. "Where's Alex, John?" Ricky demanded.

John frowned at the odor that wafted from Waters. _Great...he was drunk... _There might be no defusing this situation, but he had to try. "Do you know what time it is, Ricky?"

He pushed past John and stopped several feet into the room, surprised to see Goren sitting on the couch. It was no stretch of anything for Goren to look like he had just woken, since he had. "What the hell are _you _doing here, Goren?" he growled.

"I was sleeping. What are _you_ doing here, Waters?"

"Looking for my _wife_."

Goren shrugged. "She wasn't here when I went to sleep. I thought she was with you."

"She was."

Goren smirked. "Another argument?"

Waters bristled at the insinuation in Goren's tone, balling his fists and taking another unsteady step toward him. "Why the hell are you here?"

John stepped past him, his back to the living room. "This is my house, Ricky, and I will have anyone here that I want. Why Bobby is here is none of your business."

"I..."

"Ricky?" Eames came into in the room from down the hall. "What is going on?"

Waters thrust a finger toward Goren. "He is why you left and came over here, right? You knew he was here!"

"I had no idea he was here when I left. I left because you were being an ass."

"To find him, you said."

"Grow up, Ricky."

Confused, Goren leaned back on the couch. Why would Eames use him in a fight with her husband? He was not liking where this was going at all. Why the hell would she come here looking for him? He tried to look casual, but was not at all certain how well he was succeeding. Inside, his guts were roiling. He wanted to get up and swing at Waters, imagining how good it would feel to make contact with his face. But this was John's house, and out of deference to his partner's father, whom he had an enormous amount of respect for, he stayed where he was, difficult though that proved to be. This was not his fight. He was already doing as much as he could for her.

Wakened by the angry voices, something she was not used to hearing, Maggie came out of the bedroom, padding down the hallway to the living room. She looked around the room and wondered why Daddy was yelling at Mommy and Grandpa like that. Something was wrong here. Grandpa had a mad look, and Grandpa never got mad.

Then Waters noticed the little girl, staring at him with a confused frown. The sight of her made him even angrier. "What the hell are you doing up? Go back to bed, dammit!"

Her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip quivered. No one ever yelled at her like that. Turning, she ran back down the hall. With a muttered swear, Goren launched himself off the couch and ran after her. Eames and her dad could take care of Waters. _Somebody _had to make Maggie their first priority, and that was a role he willingly took upon himself.

The bedroom door slammed, and he opened it back up, entering the room and quietly easing the door closed. Maggie lay face down on her bed, crying. It broke his heart. He went to her, easing himself down on the edge of the bed, and he laid his hand on her back. "Shhh, mouse..." he whispered. He hated to see her cry.

She jumped up and threw herself into his arms, burying her face in his neck and crying harder. He didn't know what to do, so he simply held her, rocking her gently and rubbing her back. Softly, he shushed her and kissed her head. Gradually, she stopped crying, sniffling into his shirt and holding him tightly. Finally, still sniffling, she pulled back and looked at him. "Why did Daddy lell at me?"

He didn't know what to say. He had never said a bad word about Waters to her, and he never would. That was not his place to berate her father to her. "I-I don't know, baby. But you didn't do anything wrong. He was mad and he took it out on you. He shouldn't have done that, but sometimes, big people do things they shouldn't do."

She looked at him, wiping her eyes. "Even you?"

He smiled warmly. "Yes, mouse. Even me."

She didn't return his smile. "You never lell at me."

"No. You have never given me any reason to." He kissed her forehead. "Put your head down and go back to sleep. Nobody is going to hurt you."

"Will you stay here wif me?"

"Until you go back to sleep, yes."

She frowned. "You gonna go? I don' wan' you to go."

"No. I'm just going out on the couch, like I always do. I'll be here when you wake up."

"I wanna be wif you."

"You'll be more comfortable in your bed, baby."

"I don' wanna be comfable. I wanna be wif _you_."

He softly kissed her head and sighed. "Whatever you want, sweetheart," he whispered. How many times had he said that to her mother? Not enough lately...but his damn hands were tied. There was only so much he could do...

She snuggled into him, settling her head on his shoulder and nestling her hand into his hair. He stood up and paced the room, partly to lull her back to sleep and partly to burn off his irritation. He was furious, and it troubled him deeply that part of that anger was directed toward his partner.

In the living room, John was also furious, and all his anger was directed toward his son-in-law. "Ricky," he said, his voice tight. "I suggest you go home."

"What? Goren's welcome here but I'm not?"

"Bobby has never mistreated my granddaughter."

"Mistreated? How did I mistreat her? All I did was tell the little brat to go back to bed. She had no business being up."

Eames got in his face. "Since you're the one who woke her you have no business yelling at her for waking up! Go home, Ricky. Now."

"Only if you go with me."

"You are in no position to bargain. I'll be home when I get there. I have to take care of my daughter."

"Let Goren do that. He seems to like the little shit."

He was stunned by the slap across his face. "Leave." It was all she could manage to get out.

Furious, he took one step toward her and ran into her father. "You heard her," he said, his voice low and dangerous.

"Or what? You gonna get Goren to beat me up?"

Eames came forward again. Her voice was tight with fury. "I don't need Bobby to fight my battles. You have been asked to leave. Now you're tresspassing. So unless you want to get arrested, I suggest you leave, now."

Glaring first at his wife and then at her father, he finally turned and left the house. John frowned darkly. "You should report him for DUI, Alex."

"Maybe I'll get lucky and he'll wrap his stupid ass around a tree before he gets home." She started toward the bedroom, stopping to look over her shoulder at her father. "I'm sorry, Dad."

John just shook his head and she continued to the bedroom. Stepping into the room, she was not surprised to see Goren trying to pace off his anger. "Bobby?"

He fought to keep the irritation from his voice but he wasn't successful. "Shh. She's asleep."

"I...I'm sorry about that."

"Don't apologize for him, Eames. You don't control him. You just married him."

Still uptight, she felt her anger well up again. "What's that supposed to mean?" she asked, defensive.

He looked at her, too angry himself to read the tone of her voice. "Whatever he does, you brought it on yourself by staying with him. But I'll be damned if I'm going to put up with him treating her like that."

She felt her anger flare even more. "Oh, really?"

He kept his voice low, so as not to waken the sleeping child in his arms. "Yes, really. It's about time someone put Maggie first."

That was it. Fairly or not, her control snapped and unleashed the floodgates of her fury, all on him. "Fuck you, Goren. She's not your daughter."

He tensed even more and she immediately regretted her words. With a soft gasp, she felt her anger fade rapidly, replaced by deep remorse. "Oh, Bobby, I..."

He shook his head. "I don't need this shit," he muttered. Gently, he laid Maggie in her bed, covering her and kissing her softly. "Tell her I'm sorry. I've never broken a promise to her before, so thanks for that, too, dammit."

"Bobby..."

She touched his arm, but he jerked it away. "Leave me alone, Eames."

He pushed past her and left the room. She followed him. "Bobby, please..."

Ignoring her, he headed for the front door. John looked confused. "Bobby?"

"I'm sorry, John. I really am." He glanced at his partner. "I can't do this any more. I-I'll call you during the week."

He headed out the front door. They heard a car door slam, an engine gun and he was gone. Eames paced for a few moments while her father watched her. Then she said, "I can't leave it like this."

"Then go after him. Whatever happened, go and fix it."

She took an unsteady breath. "I hope I can."

She ran out the door and went after her partner.


	6. Spinning Out of Control

He slammed the apartment door and then had no idea what to do with himself. He was no calmer now than he'd been when he'd left John's. Eames was right. He wasn't Maggie's father. Maybe he shouldn't have said what he did; it was none of his business. But _someone _had to think of Maggie. Eames was busy trying to save a failing marriage, and he got that. He didn't get why she stayed with the son-of-a-bitch, but that also was none of his business. He hated the way Ricky treated her, hated the way he tried to run her life. But what bothered him most was the way he dealt with Maggie. He had never lived with Eames, so he couldn't say if she asked for his attitude or not, though his inclination was to think not, but Maggie did nothing to deserve his anger, except be born. It also bothered him that Ricky had _never _let Eames be the mother she wanted to be to her baby girl. He knew how much she'd wanted a child of her own, but having had her just made her life all that more miserable, and that just wasn't right. Thank God for John...at least because of him, Maggie was a happy little girl. His mind glossed right over the fact that he, too, had a hand in the little girl's happiness.

He knew that John had not been serious when he asked if his love for Maggie was an extension of his love for her mother, but that had gotten him thinking. He did recognize that through Maggie, he had a deeper emotional connection to her mother, but that truly had absolutely nothing to do with the love he felt for her. No...the love was all Maggie's and it existed solely for her. He needed no motivation to love the little girl he called mouse. The pain that came with the realization that he would never have any children of his own was eased by Maggie, even if she wasn't his, and he was glad, on some level, that her father wanted nothing to do with her. He knew that was selfish because it did hurt Eames, but he allowed himself this one selfish feeling because, simply put, he needed the little girl he adored.

He couldn't understand Ricky's jealousy over the time he spent with Eames. He really didn't spend all that much time with her, outside the job. Well, not as much time as he wanted to spend with her, but he resigned himself long ago to the fact that he never would. He spent more time with Maggie than he did with Eames, but that was all right. He felt...different when he was with the little girl. His life no longer spun out of his control when he was with her; he was happy in a pure kind of way. Logan said that Maggie brought out the best in him, and he could feel that. Now here he was, breaking his word to her...no--he was not going to let _anyone _interfere with a promise he made to Maggie. There would be one adult in her life that she knew she could trust and depend on to never let her down. He had to go back to John's...but he stopped as another thought entered his mind. _She's not your daughter. _Suppose Eames got it in her head to not let him see Maggie any more? He leaned back against the wall. What would he do? She would be totally within her rights to do that, and he would have no recourse...and it would utterly destroy him. Her marriage had almost done him in; losing Maggie would finish him off for good.

The knock barely registered. The door opened and Eames came into the apartment. What was she doing here? And why hadn't he locked the damn door? He pressed his head back against the wall as she just stood there, uncertain, watching him. Finally, she spoke. "Bobby, I am so sorry. That was...cruel to say. I..."

He waved a hand at her and stepped away from the wall, resuming his agitated pacing. "No. Don't. You're right. She's _not _my daughter. I..." He choked off his next sentence, emotion getting the better of him. Maggie was a potent weapon to use against him, and he resented Eames for using her that way.

She watched him, reflecting that in all the years she had known him, she had never seen him this angry, this hurt, and it pained her deeply to have caused it. She knew when she said it that it would strike a chord with him, and she should never have said it, but sometimes, when she was hurt and angry, her mouth got away from her. Bobby loved her little girl, but even more, Maggie adored him. If he were to step away, out of the little girl's life, it would be a loss from which she would never recover. And there wasn't a damn thing she could do to stop him. Fearing that loss in her own life as well, she approached him.

He spun in mid-stride, set off balance by her arrival which interfered with his thought processes and interrupted his intent to leave. He was surprised when he ran into her; he hadn't realized she'd approached him. When his body hit hers, she stumbled back and, reflexively, he grabbed her. His eyes studied her and his heart skipped a beat; his body was trembling, not entirely from his anger. No matter what she did, he would always love her. Without stopping to think, he pulled her closer, leaning down and kissing her roughly, almost savagely. The kiss softened, and he pulled away, stepping from her and heading for the door. He stopped with his hand on the knob. "Stay here. He won't look for you here, not with my car in your dad's driveway."

"You're going back to Dad's?"

"I-I made a promise to your daughter. No one is going to make me break my word to her, Eames. Not even you. I-I'll see you at work tomorrow."

"Bobby..." The urgency in her voice made him stop. He waited. "Are-are we okay?"

He was silent for a moment, standing there with his eyes closed. "No, Eames. We're not okay. Not right now." He looked over his shoulder at her and his face softened. "But we will be."

Yanking the door open, he left the apartment, slamming the door behind him. This time, she let him go.

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By the time he got back to John's, he had mostly stopped trembling. Most of his anger had subsided, but none of the pain had. It was still dark, but not for long. He was surprised when John opened the door for him. "Why are you still up, John?"

"I knew you'd be back."

He followed Goren into the living room, where the younger man dropped onto the couch, burying his face in his hands. John waited. Finally, Goren looked up at him. "H-how did you know, that I'd be back?"

"Just a hunch. I thought you'd be back, at least to check on Maggie."

He could feel his emotions build again, and once more that sickening fear of losing that little girl from his life nearly paralyzed him. He swallowed hard. "John...if something were to happen, between Alex and me..." He stopped for a minute, facing his second greatest fear. Another hard swallow. "Uh, would you..." He closed his eyes, swallowing the lump that appeared in his throat. "Would you let me see Maggie?"

John could never imagine Alex letting this man out of her life, and he knew Bobby well enough to know he would never willingly go. But seeing his distress and hearing the raw fear in his voice disturbed him. "What happened, Bobby?"

He shook his head. "W-would you? Even against her wishes?"

There was another scenario he could not even imagine, that Alex would remove Bobby from Maggie's life. He did not even want to think about what that would do to both Bobby and Maggie. Would he go against Alex's wishes to let him see her daughter? "Yes," he said softly. "One of us would always let you see Maggie." Goren seemed to relax a little. "Bobby, why would you think Alex would ever not let you see Maggie?"

Goren just shook his head. "I, um,...thank you, John. I-I promised Maggie I would let her sleep with me tonight...and tonight's almost over...uh, I'd better get her..."

John watched him adjust the blanket on the couch, sensing the man just needed something to do. "Where's Alex?"

"A-at my place. Ricky won't look for her there, if he's even looking for her. He probably passed out a long time ago."

"The bed is more comfortable..."

His body jerked involuntarily. No..._hell_, no..."Uh, thanks, anyway. I...prefer the couch."

"If you're sure..."

"I am. Positively sure."

John watched him finish messing with the blanket, noting that it was right back where it had been to start with. And again he wondered what had transpired between them to make him react this way. But he was going to get nothing from Goren. He watched him get up and head down the hall, returning with the sleeping toddler. It was nothing short of amazing how much more settled he was with the baby in his arms. He watched as he eased himself onto the couch, leaning back and holding Maggie close. Why would he ever think Alex would even consider taking this from either of them? That bothered him deeply, but he was not going to let Bobby live with that fear. Heading past the couch, he rested his hand on Maggie's curly head, and then he moved his hand to Bobby's shoulder, surprised to feel the tremor that still coursed through the bigger man's body. "Don't worry about it, Bobby. Alex would never take her from you."

Affectionately, he laid his hand against the back of Goren's head before leaving the room to return to his bed. Maggie was safe and would be well-cared-for. He would have no trouble sleeping...except for the fact that something was wrong between Alex and her partner. He hated feeling helpless, but he had to have faith that they would work it out.

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Goren spent the day alone with Maggie. He took her to the park, pushed her on the swings, caught her at the bottom of the slide, chased her around the soccer field, raced her back to the playground and let her win. He laid in the grass with her, watching the clouds and seeing the same shapes within them that she did. A horse. A bear. A tree.

She got up suddenly from the grass beside him and climbed onto his chest, folding her little arms and resting her chin on them. "Unca Bobby, what are you gonna get me for my birfday?"

He smiled. "Your birthday? You just had a birthday, mouse."

"But I'm gonna have anudder. I'm gonna be free!"

"No way! Three, huh? Well, that's a pretty important birthday. How about a new car?"

She giggled. "I can' drive!"

"You can't? Oh, okay...then...how about, um, a diamond ring?"

Another giggle. "I don' need a ring, silly."

"Okay, help me out here, mouse. What do you want?"

She looked thoughtful. "Can I have you for my daddy?"

A new wave of pain washed over him. If only that wish were in his power to grant. "There's nothing I'd like more, baby. But I can't do that."

She pouted. "Why not?"

He resisted the urge to put this all on her mother. "Because I'm not your father," he answered softly.

"You can' fix it?"

"No, Maggie. I'm sorry. I can't."

She rested her head on her arms and he gently stroked her hair. Finally, she looked up. "Are you gonna come see me on my birfday?"

"Of course I am. Don't I always? It's the most important day of the year."

"It is?"

"To me it is."

Finally, she smiled and laid her head back on his chest; he tipped his head toward her and gently kissed the top of her head, which then popped up again. "How 'bout a puppy?"

He laughed, and it was a real, genuine laugh. "Your mother would kill me."

Her brow furrowed. "No, she wouldn'. Mommy loves you."

His body tensed at those words, spoken so matter-of-factly, so innocently. "What makes you say that?"

She shrugged. "Nufin' makes me say it. But I never tell it to Daddy. His face goes red, and he lelled at me last time I sayed it. I don' talk-a Daddy no more. He gets mean."

"He's mean to you?"

"He jus' lells."

"Maggie, baby..." He paused. He didn't want to frighten her. "Uh, are you afraid of your father?"

She thought for a minute. "I not scared, but I don' like him."

"If he ever...hurts you, or Mommy...promise you'll tell me."

"Can you 'tect us?"

"If I have to, I will." In any event, he would protect her. Unfortunately, Eames was on her own. She made her bed, she had to lie in it...as long as he wasn't in the damn bed, too. He switched his mind from that scenario again, focusing on the little girl who was lying on his chest, studying his face.

"I'll tell you," she promised. Then she sighed dramatically and said, "I wish he would jus' go 'way. I miss Mommy."

"I know you do. She misses you, too, but things are hard for her right now. You know she loves you, don't you?"

"I know. An' Gampa loves me an' Unca Mike." She smiled her biggest baby smile. "An' you loves me."

"Yes, I love you. I always will. Never forget that. You're my best girl, and you always will be. Okay?"

He swore there was a glint of mischief in her eye as she said, "Even more'n D'nise?"

He laughed. Most people would think that it was Maggie joining him on his dates when he brought her. In most instances, it would be a fair assessment. But Denise always teased him, saying she was the one joining him and Maggie. The few other women he dated from 1 PP agreed with her, and they all thought it was adorable. They thought his devotion to his partner's little girl was sweet and they enjoyed Maggie. He refused to give up time with Maggie for anyone, and it was Denise who had first insisted he bring Maggie along. He was glad he did. Of his dates, Denise was by far Maggie's favorite, which he thought was great since she was his favorite, too. "Even better than everyone." He tapped her nose. "Come on, mouse. Grandpa is going to wonder what happened to us."

"Gampa doesn' worry when I go wif you, Unca Bobby."

She slipped her hand into his as they headed from the park. "Really?"

She nodded. "He telled me dat."

"I'm glad to hear it. Grandpa knows I'll take care of you."

"An' I take care-a you!"

Leaning over, he swung her up into his arms and hugged her. "Yes, my girl, you do." _Better than anyone._


	7. Anger and Understanding

The doorbell rang for the fourth time by the time Logan got to the door. He pulled it open and got ready to yell at whatever idiot decided three in the morning was a good time for a visit. The words stopped in his throat. Goren didn't look good at all. He could barely stand, and Logan was surprised he'd actually made it there in that condition. "What the hell happened to you?"

Logan grabbed him when he lost his balance and pulled him into the apartment. It was rare that Goren had trouble with words, but he stumbled over them now. "Uh, you mind if I use your, uh..." He trailed off for a moment, looking for the word he wanted. "...couch?"

"Sure. As long as you don't puke all over it."

"Don't worry. I already did that."

He'd been hanging out with Goren for three years now, and he'd only seen him puking-ass drunk two or three times, always when he was deeply hurt and couldn't manage that pain. "What the hell happened?"

"I stopped off for a few drinks."

"Alone?"

"Yeah, alone."

"Why didn't you call me?"

"Because I got shit to deal with and no one can help me with it." He looked at Logan, trying unsuccessfully to focus on him. Logan led him to the couch as he mumbled, "I'm not Maggie's father."

"We knew that, Einstein."

"Well, Eames...she knows it, too, and she fuckin' threw it in my face."

That surprised Logan. "You guys have a fight?"

"You could say that."

"How is Maggie?"

Logan wasn't sure how to interpret the look on his friend's face, and he wasn't sure he could have even if he was sober. "Sh-she wants me to be her daddy."

"You _are _her daddy, stupid."

Goren looked confused, and Logan mused that it wasn't hard to confuse him when he was like this. "No, I'm not."

"Yeah, you are. You may not be her father, but you are the only daddy she's ever had." He got a blanket from the closet. "Go to sleep before you hurt yourself. We'll talk about it when your brain starts working again. You're gonna be a blast at work tomorrow."

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Eames approached Logan's desk first thing in the morning. "Did you know Bobby called in this morning, Mike?"

"No, he didn't. I called in for him."

"Why? What's wrong? Where is he?"

"Worried, Eames?" She grabbed the front of his shirt and glared at him. He held his hands up defensively. "Okay, okay...back off. He showed up at my place in the middle of the night, drunk off his ass and babbling about not being Maggie's father."

She released his shirt and stepped back. "Where is he?"

"On my couch, dead to the world. What did you do to him, Alex?"

"I need to talk to him."

"No shit. But he's not gonna be in any shape to talk for awhile." He sighed as he pulled his things together. "We've gotta go talk to a witness. We'll take you to lunch when we get back and you can tell us what's going on. I didn't get shit out of him this morning."

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Logan and Barek watched Eames push her food around her plate. She looked at Logan. "What did he tell you?"

"Just that he's not Maggie's father and you threw that in his face. I told you I didn't get much from him."

Barek was frowning. "Did you really do that, Alex?"

She nodded miserably. "I was angry. Ricky showed up in the middle of the night and started a fight, and he made Maggie cry. Then Bobby started pushing buttons because he was mad and...well, I said the first thing that popped into my head that would hurt him. I told him Maggie's not his daughter. I shouldn't have said that."

Logan snorted. "Oh, definitely you shouldn't have said that." He dunked a roll into his soup and glanced at Barek. After he'd swallowed, he said, "Look, Alex, I know you're all wrapped up in coping with your marriage, and I'm sorry it's not working out for you. Really. If you'd married a guy who deserved you, well, things would be different for everyone. But you've been so involved with your life that you've lost touch with Bobby. No--don't argue with me. I know you have. Because if you hadn't, you would have seen how close to the edge he was skirting after you got married. He actually started to lose it. And then you had Maggie. I tried hard to get him back from the edge, but there wasn't anything I could do for him. But Maggie...she pulled him back, and that was something no one else could do. I really don't think you know how much that baby means to him. Hell, I love Maggie to death, but I could live without her if I had to. I wouldn't like it, but I could. He _can't_." He debated the next thing he was about to say, deciding it wasn't going to hurt Goren for her to hear it. "When you got married, you took away part of his world, his stability, and something else I haven't been able to identify. Maggie gave most of that back to him. Don't use her against him, Alex. Nothing could hurt him worse than that. So if you _really _intended to hurt him, you struck a bull's-eye." He finished his soup. "Look, girls, I'm gonna go and check on him. I'll meet you back at the squad."

He got up and pulled out his wallet. Dropping thirty dollars on the table to cover the tab, he left the diner.

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Eames looked up from her desk for the hundredth time since they'd gotten back to the squad room, watching for Logan to return. She was surprised when he got off the elevator with Goren. She watched her partner cross to his desk and sit down, pulling off his sunglasses and scrubbing his face with both hands. "Bobby?"

He held up a hand. "If you're going to apologize, don't."

"But..."

He shook his head, then regretted it. He coughed, waiting for a wave of nausea to pass. "Don't," he repeated. "I don't want to hear it."

She leaned closer. "How are we going to work this out if you won't talk to me?"

"I don't want to talk. I'm done talking. I...I hurt enough, Eames."

"I don't want to hurt you, Bobby."

"You should have thought of that long ago."

"I know. I..."

Again he waved his hand, resigning himself to the fact that he wasn't going to get out of it. They really did need to talk. "Not here, Eames. Okay?"

"Will you talk to me after work?"

"Will you give me a choice?"

"No."

"Then I'll talk to you after work."

She smiled, and it troubled her when he turned away and did not smile back.

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The only reason they went back to his apartment was because he couldn't think of anywhere else to go. He was still hurting, and he didn't really want to be with her right now. But, as always, he gave in to her. He knew they needed to talk, and he understood that she wanted to make things right. He wanted that, too. That was why he finally gave in to her. He really wanted them to be okay. He pointed to the kitchen. "You still have ice cream in the freezer, if you want it. I'll be right back."

He went into the bathroom and pulled open the medicine cabinet. Dumping two aspirin into his hand, he closed it and looked at his reflection. God, he looked like shit. He didn't feel much better. Turning on the water, he grabbed the glass from the back of the sink and filled it. After downing the aspirin, he splashed water onto his face and into his hair. Not feeling any better, he headed back into the living room. He heard her moving around in the kitchen, but he sat down on the couch, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. His head was pounding and he still felt sick to his stomach.

He groaned softly when her fingers weaved their way into his wet hair. She continued to smooth his hair back until he opened his eyes to look at her. She was trying to be comforting. She really didn't know what to do right now. "Go home to your husband," he whispered, wanting, but not wanting her to go. He really did want her to stay. He wanted to protect her, to hold her, to love her...but he just couldn't get past the fact that she belonged to someone else. It was a position she had willingly put herself in. No one had forced her to marry Ricky, although...if he had just been more clear in letting her know how he felt...maybe...Screw that. He refused to live his life on what could have been, or even what should have been. He was stuck with what was. "That's where you belong, not here."

She set her hands in her lap and was quiet for a moment, studying him. Finally, she asked, "Why did you kiss me yesterday?"

He let his breath out slowly. "I'm sorry. I really shouldn't have done that. But I...I was hurting so badly...and I...needed...something...something that didn't... didn't hurt." He sighed. Kissing her _had _been the wrong thing to do. That's what he got for acting without thinking. He really needed to stop doing that. "I still haven't found it." Well, that wasn't entirely true. He found it with Maggie. He was still struggling with Eames.

She moved away from him, closer to the far end of the couch. _Give him his space... _"I guess it was a bad day for both of us."

"The day was fine. It was the night that sucked." He tilted his head to the side. "Eames, why were you in bed with me when I woke up?"

"I'm sorry about that. I just...I wanted to be close to you. That's all."

"Your dad said...uh, we didn't expect you to be there at all. I suppose I should know by now not to try to second-guess you. I think I'll just stay on the couch from now on. Um, I really would appreciate it if you wouldn't do that again. Y-you know how I feel, dammit, and that just isn't fair to me. You always had a chance with me, Eames. But you chose him instead, and we both have to live with that."

Although his words hurt, she knew he was right, and his use of the phrase 'from now on' gave her hope for their future, whatever it would be. "I'm sorry, Bobby. I really, really am. I should have gone out onto the couch, and I should never, ever have used Maggie against you. You are the best part of her life right now. I've been wrong about a lot of things, and I really wish things were different."

"So change them. You're the only one who can do that. As much as I would love to shoot the bastard, that's not a real option for me."

"It's not that easy. Not when you refuse..."

His anger flared. "No! No, that isn't what I meant and you know it. I'm not going to share you with him, Eames. As long as you wear his ring on your finger, things are as they are. You are not going to dump this in my lap."

Without a word, she slid the ring off her finger and set it on the coffee table. "There."

"It's not that easy and you know it." Had his mood been different, he would have laughed. He picked up the ring and turned it over in his fingers. It was a simple gold band, unadorned, unembellished...a lot like her marriage, without...passion. He took her hand and slid it back onto her finger, his gut wrenching as he wished it was his ring he was placing there. "You made a commitment. As long as you remain in the marriage, you are bound by the promises you made."

She looked at his hand, where it still held hers. As if suddenly realizing he was holding her hand, he released it. She sighed. "I don't stay because of the promises, Bobby."

He looked confused. "I don't understand."

"If I divorce him, what happens to Maggie?"

"She doesn't have to worry about him any more."

"Bullshit. You don't know him like I do. He will demand visitation, to use Maggie to get back at me. And I have no grounds to have it denied or supervised. He's never hurt her, but that doesn't mean he never will. As much as he resents her, he will blame her if I leave him. Her _and_ you, especially if I go to you after I leave him."

His mind froze on what she said about Maggie and he didn't really hear anything she said after that. "He...he wouldn't. Why would he seek visitation? He doesn't even like her."

"You think that matters?"

An odd look settled on his face. His eyes were hard when he looked at her. "If he ever did anything to her..."

"I know, Bobby. I know. And that's exactly why I stay...why I have stayed since she was born. I...I _was _ready to leave him, and then I got pregnant. At first, I thought things would change after she was born. They didn't. Everything got so much worse between us, because he blamed me for getting pregnant."

"He blamed...you? Alone?" She nodded. His frown deepened. "It takes two to make a baby. He can't be that stupid."

"He's not. But he thinks that because he never wanted a child, it was my fault for letting him get me pregnant. It doesn't really matter any more. What matters is that you understand that I don't stay because of any sense of duty or affection for him. I'm not being stubborn about that. Now I stay to protect her _and_ to protect you."

"Me?"

She sighed. As wrong as she had been to use Maggie against him, she now saw that Maggie was the only way to get through to him. And although she felt very much the same way, he didn't need to hear that right now. "Maggie loves you more than anyone else, even me, sometimes. What would she do if you weren't around? As long as I remain married to him, I can protect her from him. He won't harm her, and she has you. He has no clue how close she is to you, and we have to keep it that way. I don't understand why he hates you the way he does, but everything would get so much more complicated if he had any idea what Maggie meant to you. He knows she likes you, but he seems okay with that. He even seems okay with thinking you put up with her. But if he knew..." She shook her head slowly. "He can't know."

He remained silent, thinking about the scenario she just placed in front of him. Maggie...it had never occurred to him that Ricky would want anything to do with Maggie if Eames left him. He had just assumed she was being stubborn, hoping things would improve. But now...everything took on a different light...a very dark light. The thought that there could come a time neither of them would be able to keep Maggie safe...he felt a helplessness that fueled an anger he was having trouble getting a handle on. If she hadn't married him, she would never have had Maggie, and yet, remaining married to him now, when she was miserable within the marriage, was the only way she had to keep Maggie safe. When she touched his arm, drawing him from his thoughts, he looked at her but moved his arm from beneath her hand. She paid no attention to his withdrawal. "Bobby, you were right."

He looked confused. "About what?"

"Somebody has to put Maggie first. I have been so wrapped up in keeping her away from Ricky and trying to make him..."

When she faltered, trying to find the words she wanted, he offered, "Into someone else?"

He was right. She had been trying to make Ricky into someone he was not, and she had failed miserably. "You have always made her your first priority, over the job, over me, over everything. She is lucky to have you, and I have always believed that."

He sighed softly, feeling a vague restlessness that made him irritable. He tried not to snap at her. "So what do you want from me?"

He was so tired of people asking and expecting more from him than he was able, or willing, to give. John wanted his daughter to be happy, and he firmly believed her happiness lay with him, not with her life as it was. Maggie wanted him to be her father, and that was not something he had any control over. It broke his heart not to be able to give her what she wanted. Eames wanted, well, it seemed she wanted him, and if that were the case, she should have done something about it before she married Waters. He would never have turned her away, like he had to now.

"One thing, Bobby. I only want one thing from you." He looked apprehensive and she smiled. "It's something I think you'll be able to do."

He shrugged, feining an indifference he did not feel. "What is it?"

She gently took his hand, relieved when he didn't pull away. "Keep making her your first priority," she said softly.

"You...you aren't angry...? I...I don't get it..."

Her fingers tightened around his hand. "I have never resented your love for Maggie, or her love for you. You have no idea how glad I am that she has you in her life. Bobby, if you ever stepped away..."

He shook his head adamantly. "No. I-I couldn't do that, ever." She seemed to relax some. He leaned closer to voice his own greatest fear. "If I ever leave Maggie's life, it will be because you have taken her away."

"Is that what you were thinking? I would never do that, no matter how angry with you I got. Maggie is the most important person in my life, and I would never force you away from her. I couldn't do that to either of you. I do have a heart, Goren."

"I never thought you didn't. Call it one of my irrational fears. But I would never have thought you would have used her against me, either, Eames."

She looked away from him, gathering her thoughts to try to explain what she had felt at the time. It had nothing to do with his relationship with Maggie, which she had always found endearing. "I feel guilty about not spending more time with Maggie as it is, and I felt you were accusing me of not taking good enough care of her, not treating her right. So I lashed out at you."

"You should know me better than that. I...understand your situation, whether I approve of it or not. It's not my place to judge you. I know how much you love her, and I understand how hard it is to be away from her. Believe me, you'll never hear me complain about spending time with Maggie. What I never understood was why you put up with him. Now I know...and I really wish there was something I could do." He shook his head. "But there's not." He got up, pulling his hand from hers and withdrawing again. He tried but he couldn't quite keep the bitterness from his tone. "I know my place. Don't worry about your daughter; she will always be first in my heart, okay? You have a husband. Go home to him." The words left a bad taste in his mouth, but he felt a need to say them, to let her know...what? She already knew how he felt. "I'll see you tomorrow. Lock the door when you leave."

"Bobby..." He stopped before he got to the hallway but he didn't turn around. She repeated her question from the day before. "Are we okay now?"

He didn't turn around so she could not see his face. "Yes, Eames. We're okay now."

She watched him walk down the hall to the bedroom and heard the door close. She hated when he pushed her away, but she understood why he had to. She stayed where she was for a minute, letting her eyes wander around the room. No one who knew him would be surprised by the bookshelves that dominated his living room. But there was something else on those shelves that should not have surprised her, but did, everytime she saw them. Bobby had few pictures adorning his apartment. Very few. And every one of them was of Maggie.

When he was certain she had gone, he came back out of the bedroom. Hesitating by the phone, he thought about calling Logan. He could use his friend's humor right about now. Simply put, though, he just didn't have the energy. He wandered into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. Taking out a beer, he headed back for the couch and flipped on the television.

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She drove around for a long time, thinking. There had to be something she could do, some way she could leave Ricky and still keep Maggie safe. Just the thought of anyone harming her little girl was enough to spin her directly into fight mode. And she refused to even think about what Goren would do. No matter how hard she thought, though, she could not think of a way out of her situation.

_We're okay now._ She really wanted to believe him, and she knew he wanted to believe it, too. But how could anything be okay when so much of everything was...wrong. First of all, how could she have misjudged Ricky so thoroughly? She'd taken him for a kind, loving man, and he had been in the beginning. Then things began to change...and it really got bad after she got pregnant.

Eames frowned. More and more she was beginning to realize that nothing within her marriage was going to get better; everything was going to continue getting worse. What was more, she had come to realize it wasn't Ricky she wanted to be with any longer. She had been unfair to Bobby, and she had to make that up to him, if she could. Her entire life was spinning out of control, and she had to do something to stop it. She just wasn't sure what, and she was afraid that by slamming on the brakes, the resulting forces were going to blow everything apart.


	8. Forgiveness

Goren was feeling guilty. Reasonably, he had absolutely no cause to feel that way, but that didn't change the fact that he did. He had not talked to Eames since Monday night, when he'd sent her home to her husband, as difficult as that had been for him to do. Worst of all, though, he had lied to her, something he could not remember ever doing before. He told her they were okay when they were anything but. He hadn't lied when he said they would be okay, but right now...no, he wasn't feeling right about much of anything.

Three days had passed and he had not said anything to her that wasn't work-related. Off duty, he refused to take her calls. This was killing him and he had no idea what to do about it. He'd shut himself off from everyone, even Logan, as he tried to find his equilibrium again. But he was floundering. He needed...well, he wasn't sure just what he needed, except that he did need her.

He leaned back on the couch, legs propped up on the coffee table, mind too busy to settle on much of anything. Earlier in the evening, he'd called John's and talked to Maggie. After telling her good night, he felt better than he had all week. The only down side to the conversation was that he couldn't tell her when he would be able to come out to see her. 'Maybe next week' was as specific as he'd been able to get.

He got up and began wandering restlessly around the room, unable to settle his body or his mind. He took a picture down from a bookshelf and looked at Maggie's happy little face. He glanced at the time. Not quite 8. Gently setting the picture back in its place, he made a phone call and left the apartment.

He wasn't sure how he felt when he turned onto John's street and saw the driveway empty. He had no idea what he'd expected and that unsettled him, too. With the realization that she was probably at home came the same unwanted images of her with Waters that he often struggled to banish from his mind. Tonight, though, a new thought popped into his mind: this was just too damn painful. His best option, it seemed, was to cut his losses and just leave, get on with living his life. Leave...where would he go? More important...what would he be leaving behind? One thing he'd leave would be Eames and her husband, a man she was bound to solely by the child she'd had with him, a child she protected by staying with him. But would removing himself from the proximity of that relationship change anything? He would spare himself some bruises by eliminating those encounters with Waters that Eames knew nothing about, but it would do nothing for the pain he felt inside. And then he wouldn't be around for her when she needed him...he sighed heavily. She still needed him, and that was something he had fully opened himself to. Stacking all that up against what else he would be leaving...a job he loved, a friend who had become more than a friend to him, and Maggie..._Maggie_...no, he couldn't leave Maggie. That was the clincher that banished any thought of leaving from his mind. He would simply have to deal with his life as it was because he was entirely unable to take Maggie from it.

Killing the engine, he got out of the car and headed for the house. As he mounted the steps to the porch, the door opened and Eames stood there. He froze for a moment, then he looked at the driveway, as if making certain his escape route was still open. "I, uh..." he trailed off with a deep sigh. "Maybe I should go."

"I wish you wouldn't."

"Why, Eames?"

"Because I need to talk to you."

"I-I came to see Maggie."

"I know. She's waiting for you. When you're done with her, I want to talk to you."

Now he felt trapped, and she could see that. But she was desperate to salvage her relationship with him, if she could. "Please, Bobby."

The soft, pleading tone of her voice got to him and he finally nodded, stepping past her into the house.

"Unca Bobby!" Maggie came running across the living room into his arms. "I missed you!"

He lifted her up and kissed her cheek. "I missed you, too, mouse."

She squeezed her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder. "Can you read-a me?"

"That's why I came over, so I could collect my hug, read you a story and tuck you in."

She lifted her head and looked at him. "It's not nex' week."

"No, it's not. I missed you too much to wait until next week."

With one little hand on either side of his face, she smiled, "That's good 'cause I missed you too much, too."

She pressed her nose against his and giggled before sliding from his arms and running to Eames. "Good night, Mommy!"

Eames hugged her and gave her a kiss. "Good night, sweetheart."

"Tell Gampa good night when he gets back from-a store."

"I will."

The little girl grabbed Goren's hand and led him back toward the bedroom. "You can read my Sam book, Unca Bobby."

"Sounds like a plan, baby."

Eames watched with a smile as Maggie led him into the bedroom down the hall, and she sat down on the couch to wait for him.

When he came back out, she was in the kitchen with her father, putting away the groceries he'd gotten. "Hi, Bobby."

"Hello, John."

"I'm glad you decided to come over. Miss Maggie was starting to mope because she misses you."

Goren looked surprised. "She mopes?"

"Yes, and she's quite good at it."

He gave that some thought as he helped to finish putting away the groceries. The thought of Maggie moping for any reason disturbed him. He only wanted her to be happy. Now he wondered what he could do to change things, so that she never had a reason to be sad. His eyes strayed unconsciously to Eames and his mind drew a blank. He didn't know how to make Maggie happy...

When the groceries were in their proper place in the kitchen, John kissed his daughter and, giving Goren's arm an affectionate squeeze, said good night, leaving them alone. Eames went into the living room and sat on the couch. Goren chose to sit in John's chair near the window on the other side of the baby's toybox. The silence between them was palpable and uncomfortable. Finally Eames spoke. "Bobby, I have to apologize to you."

"No, you don't."

"Yes. Yes, I do. I have been grossly unfair to you and I have taken advantage of your friendship. I'm afraid I have just...taken you for granted so much, and I have..." She stopped for a moment, determined to get through this apology with a steady voice. "I have not stopped to consider your feelings. I've been very selfish. I...I don't know how you can forgive me, but I hope you will, eventually. Because I really am very sorry."

He didn't respond but his face told her he was thinking. Finally, he said, "You have nothing to apologize for, Eames. You did nothing I didn't let you do."

"But I hurt you and that is unforgivable. You've offered nothing but friendship and I've given you nothing but pain."

"That's not true. You gave me Maggie, and I can never thank you enough for that."

Eames was quiet for a moment, wondering if she would ever fully know just how much her little girl meant to him. "Bobby, please, just let me apologize. Forgive me or not; it's up to you. But let me say how sorry I am."

_Forgive her_...He fully realized that he lived in a hell of his own making. She was married to someone else, but he simply could not get past the fact that he loved her. And her misery in that marriage just compounded his own issues. Forgiving her was easy. Forgiving himself...well, that required a lot more effort than he was willing to put into it. He should have moved on with his life. He could have found himself a wife, even had a family, which was something he'd always wanted...but he didn't. Why? Because he'd lost something in himself when he'd lost her to Ricky and it was something he had never been able to recover. He wasn't sure he ever really tried because he could not get over her. Physical satisfaction was never more than a phone call away. Emotional satisfaction, and the peace that came with it, however, remained elusive, and it always would. Right now, he wanted nothing more than the freedom to love her. But he remained secure in an emotional prison that restricted any physical response...but it never dulled his desire. He knew that if she really pushed, he was likely to cave, but she had never done that to him. She'd backed off every time because he'd said no, as much as he wanted to say yes. It was in saying no that he punished her, subconsciously, for marrying Waters. And he punished himself, too, for letting her get away.

"I do forgive you," he said softly. _Because I love you too damn much,_ he added in his mind. But he didn't have the heart, or the courage, to voice those thoughts...to hurt her like that regardless of how much she had hurt him in the past.

As unsettled as he was, though, he felt an underlying tension ease from his body as he spoke those words because he meant them this time. He did forgive her, and now they really were okay, as okay as he would ever let them be because they had to stay apart. He got to his feet. "I'd better go, before it gets any later."

"You can stay," she said quietly. "I promise I'll leave you alone."

He didn't want that, but he knew that was how it had to be. He hesitated, uncertain, until the thought of Maggie asking for jumbled eggs entered his mind. _Breakfast with Maggie_...his uncertainty dissolved and he nodded. "I'll stay."

She got up from the couch and retrieved a blanket and pillow for him, setting them on the arm of the couch. "You can watch TV if you want to. I'm just going to turn in. Good night, Bobby."

He hesitated until she had almost reached the hallway. "Eames," he said softly.

She stopped and turned halfway around to look at him. Something he'd told her the day of her wedding came into his mind. What had changed between them? _Nothing and everything._ It had taken months for him to reconcile that to the point that he could relax with her again and be her friend. He still had trouble with it at times. Had she not married Waters, he would have eventually given in to his desire for her. Then, maybe, Maggie would have been his daughter and not Waters'. But he refused to dwell on the course his life could have taken because that only brought more pain, and he had enough to deal with.

Eames would never be his and that was just a fact of his life. But he still crossed the room and drew her into a hug. She slid her arms around his waist and held him tightly, burying her face in his broad chest. Softly, he kissed her head. It was all he could do for them. "Good night, Eames," he whispered.

"Do you really forgive me?"

"Yes, of course I do. And I'm sorry, too."

"For what?"

"For not being able to give you what you want."

"Don't apologize for that, Bobby. It's my fault for wanting something I have no business wanting." _Something I could have had all along_. She squeezed his waist tighter. "Good night."

Stepping from his arms, she turned and went down the dark hallway to the bedroom she shared with Maggie. He walked slowly back to the couch and picked up the remote. He knew that sleep was a long way off for him. And he wasn't wrong.


	9. A Good Morning

He felt the little hand stroke his hair before small fingers touched his cheek. A gentle, loving touch. It was all he knew from her and all she would ever know from him: gentleness and love. He opened his eyes and, in the glow from the televison he'd fallen alseep in front of, he saw the smile that lit up her baby face. He slipped his arm around her. "What are you doing up, mouse? It's still dark."

"I waked up."

That made sense. He wondered what time it was. "Would you like to lay down here with me?"

She nodded. "Can I have a drink?"

"Sure. What do you want?"

"Beer."

"What?"

"Gampa and I have beer together."

He'd bet money it was root beer and that John got a huge kick out of telling her it was beer. Alex would have had a cow, or she would, when Maggie asked her for a beer. He had a feeling he was going to get blamed for this. Sitting up, he gently pushed her curls back from her face. "How about juice instead?"

He knew her energy and if he gave her soda, he'd be up the rest of the night, chasing her around the living room. Then he'd be in trouble for giving her soda before breakfast—it had happened before and Eames had been distinctly unamused by his 'technically, it's also after dinner' argument. But the very last thing he needed after this week was to get in another argument with his partner.

Maggie followed him into the kitchen and he gave her a small glass of orange juice, reassured by the bottle of root beer that sat in the refrigerator door. He looked at the time: 2:47. She handed the cup back to him and he washed it and set it in the drain before he picked her up. She hugged him. He pressed his head lightly against hers and hugged her back. The best thing in his life was this toddler and her unconditional love. He carried her back to the couch and lay down, settling her on his chest, where she snuggled her head against his shoulder and nestled her hand into his hair. He switched off the television and gently rubbed her back, and she quickly went to sleep. He sighed and soon he was sleeping, too.

She was never alarmed when she woke up and Maggie wasn't in the room, not when Bobby slept on the couch. Sure enough, when she went out into the living room, she found her little girl sound asleep on her partner's broad chest. She smiled. He always seemed to rest better when Maggie was right there with him, knowing he could protect her and no harm would come to her. For her part, somehow, Maggie chased away his demons. Eames wished she could do that for him as well, but all she could manage to do lately was cause him more pain. She touched the graying hair at his temple and decided to let him sleep a little longer. Maybe he would be awake by the time she finished showering. Either way, a little extra sleep would certainly do him no harm.

She was surprised to find him still sleeping when she returned to the room twenty minutes later. Maggie was good for him in so many ways. "Bobby?" she softly called.

Resting her hand on his shoulder, she called his name again. His eyes opened slowly and looked around until they came to rest on her. His free hand absently settled across the baby's shoulders. She smiled. "Hey, it's almost six and I can't believe I got up before you did."

He smiled sleepily and took a deep breath. "Somebody wanted a drink at two this morning."

She shook her head. Of course, Maggie would seek him out, trusting that he had stayed the night after tucking her in. "Do you want me to put her in her bed?"

"I'll take care of her."

She nodded and let him be. "You have a clean suit in the closet. Do you want breakfast?"

"No, thanks."

"Coffee at least?"

He sat up, shifting Maggie into his arms. It wouldn't hurt to have coffee with her. "All right."

She went into the kitchen while he sat there for a few moments, watching the baby sleep. He softly kissed her forehead and stood up, carrying her into the bedroom and tucking her into her bed. Fifteen minutes later, he re-emerged from the hallway, draped his jacket over the arm of the couch and tied his tie as he walked into the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, unconsciously glancing at Eames to make certain she had one. He sat down at the table across from her and smiled. "Good morning," he said softly.

She melted, relieved to see that soft, shy smile she had always loved. "Did you sleep well?"

He nodded. "Did you?"

"Better than I have all week."

He sighed quietly. "Eames, do you think I overreacted?"

"No, I don't." She hesitated for a moment. "But I do think you have a big heart for forgiving me for saying what I did."

He studied his coffee for a long time before finally sighing heavily and finishing it. He looked at the time. "Your car is here?"

"Yes."

Getting up, he set his cup in the sink and, crossing behind her as he came out of the kitchen, he stopped. Leaning over, he gently kissed her cheek. "I don't have such a big heart," he replied. "It's just that you and Maggie are the only ones in it. I'll see you in the squad room, Eames."

He grabbed his jacket, headed for the front door, and didn't look back as he left the house.

Ten minutes later, just after her father got up, she left the house. Ricky's car was parked across the driveway, blocking her in, and he was leaning back against it, arms crossed, waiting. She glared at him. "What do you want?"

"Take the day off. Spend it with me."

"I can't do that. We're working a case."

"What harm can a day make?"

"You wouldn't say that if it was your mother's murder we were investigating. I take my job seriously, Ricky."

"Yeah, I know." He looked at the sidewalk. "Where did he sleep, Alex?"

"Spying on me?"

"No. I saw him leave."

"He slept on the couch, like he does every time he stays here. He likes spending time with my father and he enjoys seeing Maggie. He does not come here to see me. It's a long drive back to his place and Dad usually insists that he stay. There's nothing more to it than that. You can ask Maggie if you don't believe me. She never lies."

"So it's the truth when she says you love him?"

"The truth as she sees it, yes. Now please move your car so I can go to work."

He studied her for a minute, then got into his car and drove off without another word. She sighed as she got into her car and started the engine. Well, at least that had not disintegrated into a screaming match. Still, he had to know on some level that whether she stayed or not, the marriage was over. She was absolutely certain he'd be able to tell her exactly when the last time she'd slept with him had been, which was more than she could do. All she knew was that it had been a while...and she did not miss it. Not with him. On the other hand, one drunken tumble with her partner almost three years ago _still_ left her yearning for more. Had that been a mistake? She smiled to herself. A mistake was something you regretted. She wasn't sure how he felt about it since he had never once mentioned it, but she didn't regret it. Not one bit. She touched her cheek where he'd kissed her before he left and she drove a little faster toward Manhattan.


	10. Escalating Threat

Waters watched his wife drive out of her father's development. _Ask Maggie, my ass,_ he grumbled. From what he could tell, Goren walked on water in the brat's eyes. Sure he slept on the couch. Alex was full of shit. She was sleeping with him; he just knew it. Well, he was going to get the proof he needed and then he would take care of it himself. This was just unacceptable.

* * *

Eames approached her desk, smiling at the coffee and danish sitting there. Even when he was upset with her, he always got her breakfast. They took turns paying for lunch, and she'd had to twist his arm to finally let her start paying. He was so stubborn. 

Ten minutes later, as she finished her breakfast, he sat down at his desk, handing her a file as he did. "Autopsy report and crime scene analysis."

She set the file down in front of her and studied him. "What?" he asked.

"I...just thank you."

"For?"

"Whatever you want to think I'm thanking you for. You do a lot for me, Bobby. I just want you to know that I really do appreciate you. I have taken advantage of you, and I am going to try not to do that any more."

He held up a hand. "You know I don't agree with that, but whatever you decide, I have one proviso, Eames. If you or Maggie need me, it's not an imposition and you are not taking advantage. You'd better call me. I want your word."

When she hesitated, she saw the panic flash in his eyes. "Calm down," she said softly. "I will always call you for Maggie, okay? That's as much as I'll promise."

He looked at his hands. "I care about you, too. I...I won't let you down."

"I know that. But I can take care of myself, really. I can take care of Maggie, too, but I know what she means to you, and what you mean to her. I will never interfere with that. You have Maggie, Bobby. Be satisfied."

He was quiet for a long moment. Then he leaned closer and said, "As long as you know that you can call me, that I want you to call me. Don't pull away from me because I was an ass last weekend."

"Because you...? Goren, what planet do you live on?" When he laughed, she relaxed and smiled. "I'll go this far and compromise with you. If something comes up that I can't handle on my own, I promise I will call you. Is that fair?"

It was all he was going to get, but he wasn't sure exactly what he wanted in the first place. "That's fair."

"And you'll call me?"

Call her? For what? The one thing he really needed, she could never give...well, that wasn't true. She could, and she would, willingly, but he wouldn't let her. "If I can call you, I will."

But he wouldn't, and they both knew it. Still, it was the right answer. She flipped open the file and began reading the autopsy report.

The end of the day came too quickly. It had been a good day. They had lunch with Logan and Barek, and Eames was happy to see her partner relaxed and laughing. He seemed to have gotten over the stress of the week, because he laughed with her, too. She always knew that if she could make him laugh, they were okay, and she felt entirely reassured.

She hated to see the day end as she gathered her things and prepared to leave. Goren leaned over his desk toward her. "Why don't you come out with us tonight, Eames?"

"To play pool?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. We're going to grab some dinner and then decide. Go home and get changed, then meet us at my place."

"Is Carolyn coming along, too?"

"I think so. That's what Mike said, anyway." He leaned forward and smiled softly. "Come on."

Eames was struck by a sudden sense of familiarity, something beyond her familiarity with him. Two years ago, on the day Maggie was born, she was alone in the hospital room, getting to know her newborn daughter. She talked to the baby as she studied her features, committing each to memory. There were features that she knew were her own, and others she could attribute to Ricky. But there was something else, something undefinable that she could attribute to neither of them. She had dismissed it as simply recessive traits from one or the other of them that were coming forth in Maggie. As the baby got older, though, she began to wonder. Bobby never said a word about it. He just accepted that she was Ricky's because that's what she believed, too. Maggie had to be Ricky's. She'd been with Bobby once. The odds were slim that he fathered a child during that one encounter. She couldn't understand why he'd never discussed it with her, why he'd shown no guilt at all afterwards. But she was glad, in a way. It meant he accepted it and was okay with it. So she left well enough alone and never brought it up.

Now, as he tried to talk her into joining them, she saw it again. And again she dismissed it. Maggie spent a lot of time with Bobby. Of course she would pick up some of his little quirks. It was endearing, and she was happy to see it. "All right," she relented. "Let me go home and change, and make sure Dad's okay with keeping Maggie for the night."

"Too bad she can't come along." He looked thoughtful. "Maybe we can take her to the zoo tomorrow or Sunday. She loves the zoo."

"Yes, the zoo, the museums, the park...she loves every place you take her. She even loved the 'Guggyhime' if you can believe that."

He laughed again. "She did." He shrugged. "I make it fun for her."

"And you do a great job. I'll meet you at your apartment at 7:30?"

"Sounds good."

He watched her leave, letting his mind wander until Logan stepped up beside him and elbowed him. "Coming back to Earth anytime soon?"

"Do I have to?"

Logan laughed. "Is Alex going to join us?"

"Yes."

"Good. Maybe we'll do something different tonight."

Goren shrugged and grabbed his portfolio. "Whatever. Let's get going."

Logan smiled fondly. Goren never cared what they did when Eames came along. "Hot date, huh?" he teased.

He ducked the playful swing with another laugh and followed Goren to the elevators. He was parked almost a dozen spaces away from where Goren had parked that morning, so they walked together to the parking garage, bandying back and forth things they could do and places they could go. It was rare that they spent a Friday night with their partners. "Hey, Goren!"

They turned toward the voice and Goren groaned. "What is it, Waters?"

"Where were you last night?"

Goren looked at Logan then back at Waters. "Since when do I have to answer to you?"

"Since you started sleeping with my fucking wife."

This was really getting old. "If that's your criteria, then I still don't have to answer to you."

"You were with her at John's last night."

"No, I wasn't."

"So you're denying you were at John's?"

"No, I'm denying I was with Eames." Okay, he had slept someone...but he hardly counted a two-year-old snuggling on his chest as out-of-line. "I was there to see Maggie, if you have to know. She called and asked if I would come to see her and I did. I had no clue her mother would be there. Eames slept in her bedroom with the baby and I slept on the couch. That's all there is to it."

"Liar."

Goren sighed and looked at Logan. Slowly, he shook his head and adopting a tone he didn't even use with Maggie, he said, slowly and clearly, "I have never slept with Eames."

Logan knew that he believed that to be the truth and he remained silent, but he was ready. He didn't like the two thugs that hung back and watched the encounter. Ricky had never once confronted Goren alone. He wouldn't dare. Bobby would wipe the floor with him. He kept his eyes on Waters' friends and decided if this came to blows, he'd leave Bobby on his own to handle Waters while he kept the other two out of it. He kept his hand near his weapon; no one was paying any attention to him.

"I want you to stay away from her, Goren."

"She's my partner. Just how do I do that?"

"I mean outside the job."

Slowly Goren shook his head. "No."

Waters was surprised. This was the first time his wife's partner had taken any kind of stand with him. He usually remained noncommittal. "Excuse me?"

"I said, 'no,'" Goren repeated. "I won't stay away from her. She's important to me, and so is her daughter, and I am not going to stay away from either of them because you're too immature to handle our friendship. You need to grow up, Waters. It's easier explaining things to Maggie."

Waters heard a snicker behind him and made a mental note to smack Roger around some. That was a second before he swung his fist and knocked Goren into the car behind him. Logan's gun cleared his holster and he leveled it at the two clowns who stood four cars behind Waters. "Stay," he ordered. They thought he was crazy enough to pull the trigger and they were smart enough to listen.

It didn't take long for Goren to get Waters down. He pinned him to the ground and pressed a knee on his chest. Bobby preferred to avoid fights, but it wasn't because he couldn't fight. It was because he chose not to, and Logan respected him a great deal for that. He would have pounded Waters to a pulp long ago, Eames or no Eames, if it weren't for Goren. He backed away from Ricky's lackies and nudged Goren. "Come on, man. Before my finger slips. I don't want to deal with the paperwork."

Goren looked surprised at the gun in Logan's hand. Slowly, he stood up and glared at Waters. "Go home," he said simply.

At least Eames wasn't going to be there tonight. Logan pushed him gently past his car. "Let's just take mine." He looked over his shoulder as they got to the rear bumper of his car. "You clowns better clear out or my car may just leave tire marks on your stupid asses."

They got into the car and Logan started it, gunning the engine for the benefit of Waters and his friends. Goren pulled out his handkerchief and wiped some of the blood off his face. "Shit. What do we tell Eames?"

Logan squealed his tires as he headed for the exit, disappointed that Waters and his friends were gone. He wouldn't have run them down... not really... well, maybe...hell, it would be worth another ten years on Staten Island... He looked at Goren. "Nice. We'll have to tell her something. That she's gonna notice."

"Like she hasn't noticed every other one. I guess we'll just tell her what we always tell her."

"She's not going to let us play ball when we really do want to."

"She's not my boss."

"Yeah...right. Whatever you say."

"Shut up, Mike."

Logan laughed and headed to Goren's apartment. Barek showed up not long after they got there. She studied Goren's face when she came into the living room. "I can't leave you two alone for thirty minutes. What the hell happened?"

"Waters happened," Logan explained.

"Again? Bobby..."

Goren raised a hand. "Don't say a word, Carolyn. Please. We played ball for an hour after work. That's all."

"And Logan's untouched? Come here and let me touch you, Logan."

"No thanks. I'm good."

Goren laughed and Barek smiled. "You do know that Alex is going to be upset."

"If she knew what really happened, yeah. But she's not going to find out. I'm not going to have her shooting him and going to jail, Carolyn. I'm fine."

Logan tossed a wet facecloth at him. "At least he gave as good as he got and Ricky's buddies stayed out of it."

She shook her head and took the facecloth from Goren. "Let me take a look. It's no wonder Deakins says you two give him ulcers."

* * *

Ricky found his wife in the bedroom, getting dressed, when he got home. "Where's the kid?" 

"At my dad's."

"And what are you planning to do?"

"I'm going out."

"In jeans?"

She looked at him. "We…" She frowned at his bruised and swollen lip and the knot over his eye. "What happened to you?"

He thought about telling her the truth about her partner, but decided he didn't want to get into another fight with her right now. "It's nothing. Some guy resisted. If you're going out, why are you wearing jeans?"

"I'm just spending time with my friends, not going out on a date."

He swore. "Alex…"

"Don't even start, Ricky. Since you don't seem to have this figured out, let me spell it out for you clearly, so there are no misunderstandings. You need to get over yourself. I am an adult and I can make my own decisions. I choose who my friends are and I am not going to alter my choices because you are being juvenile. Bobby is my closest friend. I will not give up that friendship for anyone. So deal with it." She shut off the light. "I won't be home tonight."

He watched her leave, seething, but he didn't say a word. He didn't go after her. He took a few breaths to calm himself down, then he went to the phone. He waited while the line rang. _Hello._

"Nate, I want someone to follow Alex tonight."

_You want what? Are you totally losing it, Rick? Let her go, man. Let Goren have her. You're forgetting everything._

"Are you going to help me or not?"

After a brief silence, Bedford sighed heavily._ I think this is a mistake._

"Did I ask you?"

_All right. Where do we pick her up?_

"Try Goren's."

_Hammond is going to nail your ass to a wall after he has your balls for lunch. And it'll be a filling meal because you have more balls than any guy I know._

"Screw Hammond. She's my wife."

_She's your cover, stupid. She's just a woman. I still say you ought to let Goren have her. He's not a bad guy and he'll take good care of her._

"Shut up, Nate, or I swear I'll shoot you."

_Fine, asshole. I gotta go follow your damn wife._

The line went dead. Waters took a shower and put ice over his eye. He wanted nothing more than to pull out his gun and put a bullet in his wife's partner. Take care of the son-of-a-bitch once and for all. He might yet do just that.

* * *

Bedford sat in the car, shaking his head slowly as he watched Alex leave Goren's apartment building very early the next morning. God, Ricky was going to have a cow. But the thought of lying to him never crossed his mind. His orders were to back Ricky up, though he wondered if this was what Hammond meant. He tried calling the FBI agent in Texas, but he was too busy to bother with him, so the hell with it. _Follow orders. Back up Waters. He's in charge._ So he'd do just what he was told to do. He pulled out his phone. 

_What'd you find out, Nate?_

"Not even a hello?"

_I can kick your ass this afternoon. Will that do?_

"I can hang up the phone and not tell you what I saw."

_Quit screwing around. Where did she go?_

"They went out to dinner and then to batting cages over in Queens."

_Who was she with?_

"Goren, Logan, and Logan's partner, Barek."

_Where'd they go after that?_

"Back to Goren's."

_And?_

"And she just left."

_Alone?_

"Yes, alone."

_Did Logan and Barek leave, too?_

"Yes."

_When, dammit?_

Bedford sighed. "They left last night." Dead silence. "Rick?"

_Find Roger and Tuck and meet me at his apartment at one o'clock._

"Ricky..."

_Don't, Nate. Just meet me there._

"This is so wrong, Rick."

_Fine. Send Hudson and you can stay home and suck your thumb._

"Fuck you. I'll see you at one."

He ended the call and dropped his phone on the passenger seat. Okay, fine. This was so not going to go well, but he was not going to let Ricky kill the guy. Tuck and Roger would back him on that at least. He'd been on the receiving end of Ricky's rage once, and he did not envy Goren at all. Ricky never played fair. Starting the car, he drove off to find Roger and Tuck.

* * *

**A/N: Confrontations ends with this chapter. Love That Hurts the Deepest and The Last Third continue with what happens next. **


End file.
